World Alzheimer’s Day

Every year September 21st is World Alzheimer’s Day around the world. This international campaign is aimed to raise awareness and challenge common stigma that surrounds Alzheimer related dementia.

Many people still wrongly believe that dementia is normal aging, which is why it is important to provide more awareness and knowledge.

There are at least 8 different types of dementia, not to mention there are mixed combinations as well. Some of the most common ones are: Alzheimer’s Disease, Vascular Dementia, Dementia with Lewy Bodies, Parkinson’s Disease Dementia, Frontotemporal Dementia, Huntington’s Disease, Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, and Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus.

Symptoms vary by type, but 10 of the most common warning signs are:

- Memory loss

- Difficulty performing familiar tasks

- Problems with language

- Disorientation regarding time and place

- Poor or decreased judgment

- Problems keeping track of things

- Misplacing things

- Changes in mood and behavior

- Challenges understanding visual and spatial information

- Withdrawal from work or social activities

When these signs are new and affecting your daily life or the life of someone you know, you should talk to your doctor or seek out more information. Having an examination can exclude other treatable conditions (ex. Thyroid problems, urinary tract infection, depression). If the diagnosis is dementia, then it will give you the opportunity to obtain more information, resources, and support for yourself and those close to you.

When dementia affects someone close to you like a partner or parent, it can cause a lot of stress, anxiety, and grief.

My colleague Jill Johson-Young and myself are hosting a free virtual support group every third Saturday of the month to support and provide resources for the caregivers.

Some of the tips we share in there are:

- Never argue with the person who has dementia. Instead, agree. Remember it’s the

disease, not the person.

- Never reason. Instead divert.

- Never shame, instead distract.

- Never lecture, instead reassure.

- Never say “remember”, instead reminisce.

- Never say “I told you”, instead repeat.

- Never say “You can’t”, instead say what they can do.

- Never demand, instead ask.

- Never condescend, instead encourage.

- Never force, instead reinforce.

You can also find some more resources on our facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/Riversidedementiasupport

If you or a loved one would like more information and/or support. I encourage you to reach out to me or our office Central Counseling Services (951) 778-0230. We have counselors available 6 days a week in two locations: Riverside and Murrieta.

Ilse Aerts, M.S., LMFT#96211, LPCC#6135

Managing Grief And The Holidays

Here come the holidays- and the grief

Let’s manage it!

The holidays are around the corner. Well, 2 corners on the calendar, but it seems to be speeding up, doesn’t it? There is even a shortage of the foods many look forward to, which is adding to that sense of needing to be ready. 

But what about those of us who have had losses this year? Covid has taken a toll on all of us. Even if you escaped illness and loss, we all faced the loss of parts of our year. And in some families the politics surrounding the pandemic has splintered the normal gathering now that we can finally have a gathering again. 

Acknowledging grief at this time of year can be kind of awful. It can be awkward as some of us stumble over what to say- do we say the names of those missing? Do we talk about them? Do we just keep busy and hope nobody will bring it up? What do we do with our own sadness right now? 

As a grief therapist I want you to know you have permission to talk about the loved ones who are missing from your table, and to include them in your special days. Teach the littles in your family that grief is normal and part of life, and that it is not scary. If yours is a family that does not talk about loss you can be the rule breaker this year. Trust me- there will be a lot of that across the country and the globe. 

There are great children’s books you can read to normalize the experience of someone missing. Try “The Invisible String” – or “The Invisible Leash” if a beloved pet is missing. If you need more ideas ask your counselor at Central Counseling Services- we have grief resources!

Some other ideas:

• Light a memorial candle. Invite children and other friends/family to share memories.

• Write a card or letter to the person who died.

• Write memories on strips of paper and use them to create a paper chain in colors for Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, or Christmas. 

• Hang a special decoration in memory of the person, such as a wreath or stocking, or set out a special menorah for them and take turns through the eight nights lighting the candles and sharing a memory.  If a stocking is used, family members can place cards or pieces of paper with memories inside.

• Buy a gift the person would have liked and donate it to a charity, or a meal to a food program or senior center. 

• Giftwrap a box and make an opening in the top for family and friends to share written memories. At a special time the box can be unwrapped and the memories shared.

• Set a special memorial place at the table during a holiday meal.

• Create a memorabilia table or corner where you can place photos, stuffed animals, toys, cards, foods, and any other kinds of mementos.

• Share one of the person’s favorite foods or meals. Food can be a great spark for sharing memories, as well as a sense of security. 

I hope your holiday season is special as we navigate back into family and friends to celebrate. If you find yourself struggling, Central Counseling Services has therapists available to help, including clinicians for anyone who does not have insurance through our new nonprofit branch. We can be reached at (951) 778-0230

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As a therapist and a social worker I work from your strengths to enhance the skills you already have and to address the issues holding you back or disrupting your life. My goal is to assist you in reaching a more satisfying state in your life, to reduce your stress, and to make home a better place to be. My specialties include working through grief and loss (including children's grief and anticipatory grief), chronic illness issues, depression and mood disorders, trauma recovery, adoption and infertility issues, and geriatric and aging issues. I have extensive experience in sexual assault recovery. I am available for crisis intervention in the workplace. I am a speaker/trainer and have provided training to parenting groups, educational support groups, community groups and employer groups. Some of my topics include Alzheimer, dementia, caregiving 101, child abuse reporting laws, parenting the adoptive child and trauma recovery. I currently, facilitate a dementia support group (see events page) and I worked with a group to develop the City of Riverside into a "Purple City" to help people with memory care issues. I am a member of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) and I am Certified as a Grief Recovery Method® Specialist.