Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

Do your friends tell you you need a therapist?

Check out our latest vlog HERE

Nora discusses the struggles and emotions that come along with being visually impaired and wants others to know they aren't alone. It is important to face these challenges and she helps clients combat them by using tools and different coping skills to fight them once and for all. Nora advocates for those struggling and provides a therapeutic safe space with no judgment to help clients live their best lives. 

NORA MUONGPRUAN, AMFT

I have a passion for sing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

Accidents Happen to All of Us

At the age of ten I was in a fairly bad car accident. It left me with a broken nose and severe whiplash. By age twelve I was beginning to complain about neck and pack pains and by fourteen the feelings were daily. Throughout high school it was not uncommon to hear me complaining about my neck and back or constantly pulling and adjusting at my shoulders. At that time, however, it did not keep me from doing the things I loved to do, such as sewing, dance, and other physical activities. My homelife was also stressful at that time and days where pain flareups were worse, I often did little to nothing. Of course, doing little to nothing can be common in teenage years, but the constant pain on top of stress could drain the energy from me and leave me with no reserves for basic functions. 

I married and had kids young and the stress of this also made for difficulties in managing my pain. By the age of twenty-five and a couple more car accidents, I had finally had enough and sought more intensive treatment. I was given shots, pills, and physical therapy. All of which provided temporary relief (except perhaps the agonizing and daily requirements of physical therapy which took a long time to see lasting results from), and I was never one to want to be dependent on pills. I needed to reevaluate everything.

The Problem

Experiencing chronic pain can impact not only your daily functioning, but your mental health. Pain can have a significant impact on all areas of our lives from sleep to eating to even thinking straight. The populations with the highest rates of suicide deaths are those cited as nearly one in ten having had signs of chronic pain. Pain can affect the way we sleep and our quality of sleep, making our ability to eat and tolerate stress and frustration impossible, as well as decrease focus/concentration-related accidents. Sleep is arguably one of the most important basic functions we can do as humans. Our mental health is directly affected when we are negatively impacted by constant and persistent pain, creating a level of emotional hostility when we are preoccupied with managing even mild rates of discomfort. We become less friendly, experience less happiness, basic functional impairment (as discussed above), and increase our production of the stress hormone cortisol.

While there is a physiological and medical cause for a lot of chronic pain, it is important to critically evaluate your lifestyle and the way we interact with ourselves. While our mental state and emotional health may not always be a cause of pain, it is something well documented to have somatic implications on our physical health.

Why This Matters

Chronic pain and its emotional effects it can have in our lives can hinder our self-esteem, self-efficacy, and our relationships with others. This is important because we rely on the emotional (and sometimes physical) support of others. It can feel hard to tolerate being an emotional support for others when you feel constant agony within yourself. It can fuel undo resentment that is difficult to rationalize. It can cause us to be short-tempered, snarky, snappy, or completely unresponsive. Chronic pain can damage relationships as much as it can damage our self-worth and self-esteem. 

The presence of chronic pain can create and worsen our perception and interaction with others and the world by depriving us of basic needs as well as emotional wellbeing.

The types of chronic pain we all can deal with will vary from person to person and natural temperament plays an important role too. Our support system is another big factor which is why pushing people away for what we cannot control is the last thing we want to do! We may not be able to control how we feel at any given moment, but we always have control over our behaviors and the words we choose to express our pains and frustrations.

What Can We Do?

While the idea of managing chronic pain with no end in sight can be daunting as well as devastating, it is important to have a team behind you. This is your care team of professionals, such as doctors and therapists, as well as your support team such as friends and family. If pain management has minimal effects on comfort, such as those suffering with fibromyalgia or other painful conditions, having a solid care routine is crucial. Follow your medical doctor’s recommendations and advice religiously. 

You can also get emotional and mental support from mental health therapists that can teach you coping skills such as cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness therapy, somatic anchoring techniques, and exploring commitment and radical, unconditional acceptance. With support it can become easier to express your immediate needs, your limitations, and how others can best help you when you most need it. Through evaluation and inner awareness you can assess where your lifestyle can improve your quality of life as well as emotional factors playing into the worsening of symptoms.

It is important to remember we are sometimes overtaken by our intense pain, both physically and emotionally, that it is easy to overlook the good and where we can improve our own environment to support healthy functions.

Next Steps

What can we do next? Start with seeking support for emotional wellness and mental fortitude while you battle a force beyond your control. Seek someone who can help guide you through the mourning process and feelings of loss that chronic pain causes. Practice patience for yourself through this acceptance process on days you cannot do as much as you did yesterday. Use mindfulness exercises that help you through this acceptance process, but also allow yourself to experience positive moments throughout your day. While pain is experienced in the body, it is perceived only in the brain. A trained cognitive behavioral therapist can help put the experience of your pain into context and better understanding of your body. Your next steps may be daunting, but you do not have to endure it alone. Call me I understand you pain.

The Meaning of Life: Less Intimidating Than It Sounds

What’s the point?

For many of us, pandemic life has thrown more than just our daily routines into chaos. It’s shown us pain, loss, and suffering on a global scale – and for most of us, this is different from anything we’ve experienced before now. When we’re surrounded by so much uncertainty,

it’s easy to wonder what the point of it all is.

Ultimately, we can’t prevent all bad things from happening to us, and we can’t avoid pain and loss forever. But experiencing terrible things feels… well, terrible. So, if part of the human experience is accepting the reality of pain and loss, what’s an ordinary human to do about it? How can we find a sense of purpose or meaning in the midst of a pandemic, war, political unrest, chronic illness, or anything else we might face in life?

Defining “Meaning”

The difficult thing about “meaning” is that it can’t easily be quantified – we can’t see it or measure it, so how do we know when our lives have it? Maybe more importantly, what IS the meaning of life and where do we find it?

There really isn’t any “one size fits all” answer to that question for everyone. But don’t let that discourage you – from an Existential-Humanistic theoretical approach, that lack of a concrete answer means that we each have the freedom and capability to determine what makes our lives meaningful, and then take our own steps to attain it. From this philosophical standpoint, life’s meaning can look different for each of us. 

Perhaps the best question to ask isn’t, “What’s the meaning of life?” but rather,

 “What’s the meaning of MY life?”

From an Existential viewpoint, the bad things that happen to us are constant reminders of our own limits and eventual mortality.

This means that it’s up to us to be responsible for creating meaningful lives and making each day count to the fullest.

 The Humanistic viewpoint is that people are generally good, with the free will to make the best choices, and the potential for self-improvement. When combined together, these philosophies can help create an approach that motivates us to become our best selves, and tap into our personal power for growth and interconnectedness.

Identifying Values and Goals

If you want to take a deeper look at your life and start creating your own meaning, where should you begin? 

There are a couple of brainstorming approaches you can take. First, start thinking about where the most important things in your life come from. Are they extrinsic, coming from outside influences? Or are they intrinsic, coming from within yourself? 

Next, write a list of your most deeply held values – including those important things you already brainstormed about. You can get really abstract with this – remember, there is no right or wrong answer. 

Think about what brings you joy, what ideas or morals you believe are worth fighting for, and ultimately what makes your life worth living from one day to the next.

Finally, think about what you would like to accomplish in your life. Make a list of these “bucket list” goals.

What did you come up with? You might have written down things like raising children, helping others, or your career. Did you write about your passion for a particular cause? Do you have a goal to contribute to society and connect with others in a specific way? Maybe you want to support an organization for animal rights, perform community service with a marginalized population, or promote awareness for research to cure an illness that has impacted your life.

Don’t forget your own personal development, as well. When you wrote your lists, did you include friendships, partner relationships, and family bonds? What about things like hobbies, education, or physical well-being? Making healthy choices for yourself are an important part of the personal growth process that will help you form connections with the world around you and interpret it in meaningful ways. 

Further Framework

Viktor Frankl wrote Man’s Search for Meaning in 1946 after his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps. He developed a therapeutic method for individuals to find purpose and meaning in life, and part of his method was to identify three values that he felt were the core of that meaning. Frankl’s three life values are:

Creative Value: What we create or accomplish is the gift we give to the world around us.

Experiential Value: What we receive from the world through our experiences and encounters.

Attitudinal Value: The attitudes we choose to have about bad situations that we cannot control.

Frankl believed that we can create our own meaning by giving something back to the world, by experiencing love for others, and by acknowledging our pain and loss, yet choosing to persevere even when things are difficult. Are Frankl’s life values part of the lists you wrote? 

Dr. Paul Wong also built on Frankl’s ideas to create his PURE model to help individuals find their life’s purpose and meaning. You can use it as an additional guideline to take a closer look at the way you live in relation to your values and goals. PURE stands for:

Purpose: Your life goals and what you want to accomplish.

Understanding: Yourself, the situations around you, and your life as a whole.

Responsible action: Doing the right thing, in line with your personal values.

Enjoyment and Evaluation: The happiness that comes from living your authentic purpose, and regularly checking in with yourself to make sure that you are on the right path.

Dr. Wong also adheres to several specific sources of meaning, such as achievement, self-transcendence, relationships, intimacy, and fairness. These sources can serve as the building blocks that you can use to apply the ideas in the PURE model to your own life. Did you write any of Dr. Wong’s sources on your lists?

Next Steps

Now that you have an outline to use as a starting point, get creative! Reach out and see what your community has to offer, learn new skills, choose habits that will cultivate your well-being, and foster new connections with those around you. Remember that the goal isn’t to avoid all of the pain and loss that comes with the human experience, but for each of us to live an authentic life according to our values, and to find our own meaning in the process.

Additional sources:

Center for Substance Abuse Treatment. Brief Interventions and Brief Therapies for Substance Abuse. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 1999. (Treatment Improvement Protocol (TIP) Series, No. 34.) Chapter 6 --Brief Humanistic and Existential Therapies. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64939/

Frankl, V. E. (1984). Man's search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Wong, Paul. (2011). Positive Psychology 2.0: Towards a Balanced Interactive Model of the Good Life. Canadian Psychology/Psychologie canadienne. 52. 69-81. 10.1037/a0022511.

If you need more help with your life’s meaning give CCS Education and Wellness a call and I will be happy to work with you.

~Marika Lopez, Student Therapist

Gratitude: How To Find It And How To Use It

Few things in life are free but luckily for us, gratitude is among them. The last few years have been unrecognizable with the constant change, uncertainty, and associated stressors with living during a global pandemic (If you are alive and reading my post, here is the first thing to be grateful for…think of it as a freebie ☺). 

Whether your difficulties preceded or were brought on by or during the pandemic—from health, grief and loss, depression, anxiety, stress, and financial problems, to work-related, family, and relationship issues—you are NOT alone! The important thing to remember, no matter which difficulties resonate, is that we are here for you and can help. 

Finding gratitude in your everyday can also help.

What is gratitude? The Oxford Dictionary defines gratitude as the “quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Gratitude “can be viewed as a wider life orientation towards noticing and being grateful for the positive in the world” (Jans-Beken et al., 2019, p. 743). Delving further, gratitude is noticing what is abundant, already present (big or small), while taking nothing for granted and appreciating the gift of and saying yes to life (Emmons & McCullough, 2003; Team, 2017). 

Why is gratitude important you ask? Over the years scientists have found a positive link between gratitude, positive emotions, health, and well-being (Jans-Beken et al., 2019). Research has shown gratitude can help make friends, improve physical and psychological health, improve sleep, boost self-esteem, reduce aggression and enhance empathy (Oppland, 2022). With this realization, interventions soon were developed to assist anyone who was interested in finding what they have to be grateful for in their lives, from gratitude journaling to meditation, there is something for everyone (Jans-Beken et al., 2019; Oppland, 2022).

Gratitude journaling consists of writing about things, people, pets, places, acts, and/or events you feel grateful for (Jans-Beken et al., 2019). Doing so at least once a week is a great way to begin your practice. You can do this in a notebook, a note on your phone, on your computer, or even share (and perhaps inspire others) on your social media. There are no rules, you can journal several times a week or daily if you like. 

Another way to begin your practice is to get a jar (or any vessel you prefer), write on paper what you are grateful for, and put it inside (Oppland, 2022). Many suggest writing three things on the paper from your day or week, but you could have one thing one day and five the next. If you do not want to put your paper in a jar, you could create a gratitude tree, a flower, a collage, or whatever you desire (Oppland, 2022). 

If writing and artsy projects are not your cups of tea, then I suggest trying meditation. Find a quiet spot where you can sit or lay down, whichever is most comfortable. You can set a timer; I suggest somewhere between 3-5 minutes. Focus on how your body feels and your breath as you breathe in and out. With gratitude meditation, you visualize what you are grateful for in your life, including your body’s current abilities (i.e. breathing, having the arm strength to propel your wheelchair, sight, etc.). Your mind will most likely wander, show yourself some grace and return to your mediation.

Whatever path you chose, have some fun while finding your gratitude, however, please keep in mind that in order to become good at anything, you must practice, and finding gratitude in your day is no different. Most everyone gets swept up in society’s bigger, better, faster, newer mindset whether it be with cell phones, cars, houses, or body enhancements…you get my drift. However, in your gratitude practice do not be surprised if you find contentment in what you already possess. Your cell phone may not be the newest version, but you are grateful to have one, that it works, and can use it to communicate with your friends and family. Your significant other may not look as new as they once did, but you appreciate your time together, the lines on their face from your shared laughter, and being alive. Today, whether you are on top of the world or in your darkest hour, I encourage you to recognize/see/find one thing in your life for which you are grateful <3 and remember we are here for you. 


-Kristen

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together” - Vincent Van Gogh

My name is Kristen (she/her) and I am an MSW Student Intern here at CCS. I have over 15 years of experience working in adult and child welfare and dealing with the Criminal, Family Law and Juvenile Court systems. Throughout my years of experience working with families, I have encountered all ages, genders, and a variety of cultures dealing with substance abuse, domestic violence, and abuse and neglect issues. Please note, I am only English-speaking. 

You are doing a great thing by considering counseling! Nothing frightens or embarrasses me and I offer a safe, judgment-free environment. Together we can create the change you seek. To set up an appointment please call, 951-778-0230. 

References:

Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377.

Jans-Beken, L., Jacobs, N., Janssens, M., Peeters, S., Reijnders, J., Lechner, L., & Lataster, J. (2019). Gratitude and health: An updated review. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 15(6), 743–782. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2019.1651888

Oppland, B. M. A. (2022, February 7). 13 Most Popular Gratitude Exercises & Activities. PositivePsychology.Com. https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-exercises/

Team, T. G. (2017, November 2). What is Gratitude? Gratefulness.Org. https://gratefulness.org/resource/what-is-gratitude/

Have You Gotten Boosted For Self-Esteem?

“I will never be good enough.” “No one likes me.” “I am worthless.”

We have all heard these statements before. You may have heard someone else say them aloud about themselves, or they have appeared as thoughts swimming around in your own head. Statements like these are referred to as ‘negative self-talk’ or ‘self-disparaging remarks,’ but where exactly do they develop from? 

We certainly are not born with these thoughts about ourselves. Somewhere along the course of development, you had experiences that influenced how you think about yourself. Those experiences caused you to develop a belief system about yourself and the world you live in. 

Self-esteem is a person’s perception of how they think and feel about themself. High self-esteem leads to one feeling positive and confident about themselves; low self-esteem can cause a person to feel down and depressed. Low self-esteem can occur within disorders such as Depression or Social Anxiety. Low self-esteem can be caused by factors such as being bullied, ridiculed, ignored, abandoned, rejected, or treated unfairly. Your self-esteem can also be influenced by life experiences, trauma, neglect, abuse, and other factors. Low self-esteem often begins in childhood and can persist into adulthood.

 A study done by Orth and Robins (2014) concluded that one’s self-esteem starts to increase at adolescence and is consistent through middle adulthood, peaks around the age of 50-60 years, and begins to decline rapidly into old age.

Oftentimes, the focus is given to low self-esteem rather than high self-esteem. People are encouraged to esteem themselves higher and think positively when it comes to their sense of self. How do you know where you lie on the self-esteem spectrum?

Several studies have found that people with high self-esteem:

• appreciate themselves 

• appreciate other people

• seek opportunities for personal growth

• are confident in the decisions they make

• are able to focus with ease, on solving their problems

• Have loving and respectful relationships.

• Can kindly and confidently share their wants, needs, and opinions with others.

While people with low self-esteem:

• Are often “people pleasers”

• become easily angered or irritated

• feel their wants, needs, or opinions do not matter

• Have difficulty creating boundaries

• Are overly sensitive to the opinions of others

• Are extremely indecisive

• Have feelings of worthlessness

• avoid taking risks or trying new things

• struggle with confidence

• give more attention to their weaknesses

• Have difficulty saying “no”

• Regularly feel negative emotions like anxiety, depression, or fear.

So, how can you boost your self-esteem?

Acknowledge your strengths – What is working well for you? What skills, abilities, and talents do you already have? Acknowledge past successes and use them to guide you in your present moments towards your future.

Identify your good qualities- You are uniquely, you! Focus on what makes you a good person. Write those qualities down and post them somewhere so that you can read them daily. If you need help, ask a friend or family member to point out good qualities they notice within you.

Develop positive self-talk to increase your confidence- Our thoughts have an effect on our mood and the beliefs we have about ourselves. Create a list of positive statements about yourself, your environment, and your future. From the list, pick one to read daily. 

Read/Listen to self-help books or Podcasts – Books are a great resource for learning the skills and tools needed to help you improve the areas of your life that need that extra TLC! If you are not a fan of reading, audiobooks and podcasts are a great alternative. 

Journal your feelings- Want a safe place for you to express your thoughts and feelings without punishment or judgment? Get yourself a journal. Journaling can help you to get those negative thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Doing this activity daily can assist with the opportunity to identify negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. 

Set goals and plan for achievement- Set small goals and plan the steps it takes to achieve them. By setting goals and achieving them, you can acknowledge these accomplishments and increase your confidence. A good rule of thumb when setting goals is to make them Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely, aka (S.M.A.R.T goals). 

Take care of your body- Exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, avoiding drugs and alcohol, and eating healthy, balanced meals are all great for managing your mental health.

Practice deep breathing/relaxation techniques- There are many benefits to deep breathing, including the reduction of stress. Research has found a link between healthy individuals who practiced deep breathing and relaxation; they were found to have better control over their emotions and mental well-being. Ask your therapist to train you in the use of these techniques if you are not familiar with them.

Seek counseling- Talking to a mental health professional about your self-esteem issues can be helpful. A therapist can help you identify and focus on thinking patterns that contribute to poor self-esteem. A mental health professional can also assist in identifying other related conditions that may be causing you to have a poorer sense of self (e.g., depression, anxiety). You can learn to develop and use coping skills that will support your overall mental health and well-being.

If you find that your journalling or self-talk is negative, you might find speaking to a counselor for a few sessions can really turn your thoughts around.    You can set up an appointment with me Danielle Neazer, AMFT or any one of our our therapists.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

~Danielle                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Zaccaro, A., Piarulli, A., Laurino, M., Garbella, E., Menicucci, D., Neri, B., & Gemignani, A. (2018). How Breath-Control Can Change Your Life: A Systematic Review on Psycho-Physiological Correlates of Slow Breathing. Frontiers in human neuroscience, 12, 353. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353

I enjoy experiencing the journey and aiding my clients to take control of their mental health. I love seeing other people especially my clients become healthier and happier. I find pride in helping others become the best version of themselves. I love learning and teaching. I believe if you teach a person, as opposed to just telling them, how to achieve a life of health and wellness, they can experience change.

I have experience working with children, adolescence, and the young adult population. I specialize in Depression, Anxiety, Self-Esteem, and Autism Spectrum Disorder

During my sessions, I strive to create an environment of politeness and respect for each other, confidentiality, honesty, and integrity.

As an AMFT, my personal goal is to continue professional development and achieve licensure. To be competent and use best practices in treating the mental health community. I strive to continue to develop as a therapist and never stop learning.

I am based in our Murrieta location and available for both in-person and telehealth sessions during the week. Please, call me today to set up an appointment, 951-778-0230.

Evolving and Having Hope for the New Year

The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted everyone’s sense of stability, structure, and sense of control, yet again. This long-drawn-out time of uncertainty, combined with the social distancing that keeps us away from family, friends, and normal activities, has taken a significant toll on us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. However, there is hope for the New Year, and this blog can help you nurture it. 

Hope is always important in our lives, but now it is more critical than ever. Hope can help you fight off depression and anxiety. Hope can motivate you to achieve your goals. Hope can help you be more resilient when we face challenging times. Hope can help you focus on the reality that you need to keep yourself safe by taking the health precautions recommended by the CDC and state and local governments.

Below are some helpful steps to take to reflect on 2021 and have hope in 2022:

1st Step - Self-Reflect and Review Our Experiences From 2021:

• Pause and Acknowledge – Speak in truth and acknowledge what our experience was like this past year.  Recognize that there have been challenges, difficulties, sadness, and many things that we had no control over. It’s ok. To reflect on these things, and we also need to choose to move forward, as well.

• Identify the Gifts and Positive Experiences – Acknowledge that there also were some things that we experienced that may have been positive, lessons learned, opportunities given, and personal growth. So it’s important to take some ownership for these things as well instead of focusing only on the negatives.

2nd Step  - Determine What We Want for 2022:

• Be Intentional – Incorporate what we want to focus on for the New Year. We can evolve and develop a new sense of self and be realistic about what we can change, yet not expect to change everything. Be careful about referring to Resolutions and instead be willing to have Evolutions in the New Year.  Select 1-2 things that were lessons that can apply towards wisdom and growth in this New Year.

• Expect and Hope for Good things to come – Love unconditionally, learn self-acceptance, improve self-worth and self-esteem, reduce stress, anxiety and depression, offer grace to yourself, and recognize life offers us choices and we can decide how we want to live it.

3rd Step – Evolving In The New Year Questions (Answer the following questions and share them with someone you really trust):

• Three Lessons I learned in 2021?

• The gifts of 2021 that I am carrying over into 2022?

• My thoughts about evolving instead of resolving?

• A few things I hope to grow through in 2022?

• My hope for 2022?

Make these a part of your goals for the New Year and celebrate that you made it through last year which was not easy. Believe in yourself and know that you are stronger than you may realize and have much to offer and accomplish in the New Year. 

It often takes more courage to have hope than not because you're being asked to look into the unknown and still believe all things are possible. Sometimes it is only hope that feeds our spirits and launches us to find the strength and power to carry on.

If we are hopeful, can bad things still happen in life? Yes, but we must remember good things happen too and sitting around feeling hopeless doesn't help anybody.  Feeling hopeful can help you develop a more open mind, which can help you access more possibilities, making it more likely you will find a resolution to your problems or a new way to live with whatever you face in the New Year.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.”   So, let’s try to be more hopeful in 2022 because hope is the beginning of all that's possible to make the world a better place for everyone. 

Wishing all of you a Happy, Hopeful and Healthy New Year!!!!

~Tosha

I believe we are created for relationship with others and even with ourselves. It is my desire for clients to discover how past and current relationships influence their behavior, thoughts, and feelings in order to bring about long-term change and healing. I greatly enjoy working with children, adolescents, adults, clients with depression, anxiety, trauma, and low self-esteem.

Creating My Best Self in 2022

2022?! How is it already 2022?

It feels like we’ve all been through the ringer since COVID started almost 2 years ago. We’d all like to have a fresh start and not have the heaviness of it all on our shoulders. It seems like a new year would offer that to us. But…. Just like with New Year's Resolutions, a marker like the start of a new year doesn’t offer us anything more than the necessity of buying a new calendar. If anything, it puts  more pressure on us to “make this year the best ever!” I’ve done this more times than I can count and unfortunately, it’s hardly ever worked.

Have you ever made a resolution or new years goals that you followed for a month… or week… and then, just sort of gave up on? You’re not alone.

I’m not here to make you feel defeated already. I’d just like to give us a different perspective on “new year's resolutions”.  

My challenge to you is not to wait for a New Year’s Day or any other arbitrary day to begin making a positive change in your life. 

Changes are more likely to become part of your routine when you are motivated and are consistent. Strike while the iron’s hot and set yourself up for success as  soon as you have made the decision to do so. Even if you have a setback or two, picking yourself up and dusting off will allow you to reset and make any day a new beginning. 

It just so happens to be the first week of January, but don’t let that be the reason for change.

Becoming the best version of yourself is always a reason to strive for positive changes in your life. 

I challenge you to join me as we work on ourselves this year. Find a new healthy hobby, join that after work sports team, Saturday book club, schedule a coffee with friends, or visit family you haven’t seen in a while. Your health is important, make space for healthy habits. And when I say health, I’m talking whole person health: body, mind, emotions. So feed your soul, feed your mind, and feed your body. 

Researchers say it takes around 21 days to create a habit. Think about that for a second- any habitual thing you do in the next three weeks will become a habit. So, in these next 21 days what healthy habits are you creating? Maybe you’re setting a bed-time reminder to get the rest your body needs, maybe you’re adding veggies and whole foods to your diet, or journaling your thoughts and feelings. 

Can we all just agree that we should create a habit of positive self thoughts? Let’s partner together for the next 3 weeks to stop criticizing ourselves, redirect our negative thoughts, and give ourselves some much needed GRACE. You give it freely to others, don’t you deserve to give yourself a bit of grace as well? I’m guilty of it too. But making a conscious effort to think positively about yourself for 21 days will help create that health habit of self-love. 

Now, once we’ve mindfully practiced some healthy habits for 21 days, it should be our goal to keep them going throughout the year. 21 days isn’t a magical number that will keep you healthy all year round. Like anything, healthy habits take work. We must keep them in the forefront of our minds throughout the year and continue to practice the healthy habits we create this January. 

One way to do that is to write them down. Write out your goals, desires, and even baby steps to get there. And please, please celebrate the small victories along the way. Baby steps deserve recognition. 

Below is a template to help you write down your healthy habits. I encourage you to print this out, make it your lock screen on your phone, or put it somewhere you will see it each morning. I like to have mine taped on my bathroom mirror, so I am reminded of my healthy habits and goals each morning when I brush my teeth.  

I encourage you to print this out and fill it in with healthy, attainable goals/habits you’d like to focus on. Remember to think about your whole person (body, mind, soul) and create habits that feed you in all areas of your life. If you can’t think of healthy habits, below is a list that can help you; get creative, and personalize your list to fit your lifestyle. 

Sometimes we need someone to talk to or help us in creating healthy habits, overcoming trauma or past experiences. We’d love to walk alongside you. Feel free to contact us to make an appointment, 951-778-0230. 

You can also do so online here: https://www.centralcounselingservices.net/contact-us

Cheers to 2022, creating healthy habits and not waiting for “tomorrow” when we can work on becoming our best selves today! 

-Eric

I want to be present with others while they take amazingly courageous steps towards self-awareness. I enjoy being a therapist as I can witness others take possession of their lives and create change through action. I am hopeful that I may be able to help unlock the power of healing within each client so that they would relieve themselves of the need to have therapy. I hold myself to a high standard such that client care is my utmost priority. I work towards maintaining professional and ethical values to reduce any conflicts and best support the client.

Finding Your Joy!

Wow, did you see that beautiful butterfly? Was that a dog… in a Santa costume?!

Or when was the last time you laughed out loud or sang along to your favorite song?

Have you crossed anything off your “To Do” List or enjoyed a good meal with a friend?

Can these small moments really make a difference in our mood?

The answer is yes, yes they can!

And as 2021 comes to and end and we are putting away the holiday décor, it might be difficult for some to find their joy.

In this blog I would like to share why I feel joy is important and how you can find it all around you.

Joy is experienced by each of us differently.

For some it is hugging their dog, or talking a walk. Meditation or gardening enables others to find their joy. For me, I find my joy when I notice my environment. I see a beautiful butterfly and in that moment I am relaxed. I feel a sense of calm.

My problems and concerns are still there but they take a backseat to the joy that I am experiencing. In that moment everything is alright in my world.

So WHY is it important to find your joy? When we experience joy we are actually having a change in our neurochemistry. Our brains are secreting hormones that relaxes and enable us to feel pleasure, satisfaction, a sense of happiness, optimism and wellbeing. These hormones are important as they bolster our mood, refill our emotional tanks and remind us that we will be okay. These hormones signal that we can find our emotional wellbeing despite what might be going on in our lives.

Often when we are upset, struggling with an issue, our thoughts are focused on what is

upsetting us. When we find our joy it reminds us that there is more to life than our problems. It does not mean that one’s problems have disappeared. What it can provide is a respite from the emotional pain. A reset and change of perspective.

How do you find joy in your own life?

I believe that it starts with mind and body awareness.

When you are aware of your body, being mindful of how you are feeling both physically and emotionally, you are better able to recognize moment of joy. This includes being aware of your environment and how you are moving around in it. Are you in a rush? Are you breathing? All are all aspects of mindfulness. When you are practicing mindfulness you are open to recognizing moments of joy.

So, as you put away your holiday décor, my hope is that you stop, breathe and take a look

around you. Did you find a surprise candy cane still hanging on the tree? Are you enjoying a playful moment with your kids? Wherever you find yourself, may you notice your JOY.

---

When Leann is not talking with her clients at Central Counseling Services, you can find her in the garden looking at the butterflies and smiling.

Throughout my 10 years of working in the mental health field, whether it be inpatient care, outpatient mental health, medical setting or authorizing mental health treatment for an insurance company, the goal is the same. Listen. Be present for what is being said with nonjudgment and support. I have worked with children, adolescents and families who have struggled with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, ADHD, substance abuse, trauma and neglect. I have sat on both sides of the chair and understand what it means to be facing a crisis and how to move

forward and regain your equilibrium. My theoretical foundation lies in strength based therapy. I believe in the transformative power of listening and being present in a safe and nonjudgmental space. When you take that first step and reach out for help you have already started the healing process. Therapy is a safe place where you can unburden yourself, where the therapist is the

keeper of the faith that things will get better even if it feels like things will never change. I help you see the progress made and the inner strength reflected in yourself. You learn the skills to empower you to go forward and face what life may bring. Treatment approaches of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness and Mood regulation are a few of ways in which I can help to address your issues.

I look forward to working with you as you begin your journey of healing.

Traditions Are Everywhere, Make Self-Care One Of Yours!

The last few days different traditions have taken place around the world. Here in the US, lots of kids went Trick or Treating on October 31 for Halloween. Other parts of the world celebrated All Saints Day on November 1  (celebrated in honor of all the saints, known and unknown) which is followed on November 1st and 2nd  by Day of the Dead or also called  Día de los Muertos, a more Latin American custom where it is      believed that the souls of the dead return to visit their living family members.

Most of these holidays are related to honoring our deceased. Many of us have experienced significant losses this past year to year and a half due to the COVID 19 pandemic.

As I realized how many of these different traditions occurred over the last week, I became intrigued with how different cultures view death. In America we are familiar with the traditional funeral where family members, friends and relatives gather around the body (often wearing all black) and later there is a ceremony held in a church, synagogue or temple with a rabbi, priest or other officiant leading the service. At other times, instead of a funeral, there is a memorial service, which is much of the same structure as a funeral although the deceased’s body is not present at the service. Because a memorial service occurs after the remains have been cared for, there is often more room for creativity. This is because the family can take more time to plan a ceremony and decide how they want to pay tribute to their loved one. More recently there is a trend of honoring the dead with a celebration of life ceremony which is usually a more relaxed and party-like atmosphere with guests sharing stories about their loved ones.

The celebration of life sounds similar to South American people honoring their dead by holding a ‘vela’ where guests share memories of their loved ones while eating and drinking.

In Africa, most believe in ancestors (the dead who continue living and guiding their family in the afterlife) and they believe that the ancestor will become a wandering ghost if a proper funeral or burial didn’t take place. With lots of different tribes (over 3,000) and countries, there are many different traditions.

The different countries in Asia have their own specific way in viewing death and have their own unique rituals and customs. For example, in China, mirrors are removed, and cloth is hung on the doorway of their homes. Which has some similarities to Russia, where before funeral mirrors are covered and clocks are stopped to avoid more death in the family. That’s similar to the changes made to sit Shiva in the Jewish tradition.

In Western Europe, the traditional mass followed by a grave burial are influenced by beliefs in a higher power that influences funeral traditions.

I am so in awe about so many different ways and traditions to honor our death. What is important in any culture, I think, is taking care of ourselves in those difficult times too. Partially this might be accomplished by having your family and/or friends around you for support. But selfcare also consists in making sure we eat, get sleep, regular medical care and hopefully are able to go outside in the fresh air. Other possibilities for selfcare could be: finding a hobby, watching a funny movie, reading a book, cuddling with a pet, and/or not working during your time off.

Let’s try a self care activity: Pick a window and spend a few minutes looking outside. Notice what’s happening. What shapes, colors, patterns do you see? Do you notice anything new?

Creating the tradition of self-care, not only in the difficult times when someone died, but any time is important.

To discover more about the importance of self-care and/or ideas for self-care, don’t hesitate to reach out to myself or my colleagues at Central Counseling Services. We are here to guide and help you find the right selfcare tradition for you. You can reach us at (951) 778-0230.

Ilse enjoying nature to practice self-care.

I earned my Master degree in Clinical Psychology from Vrije Universiteit Brussel. Yes, that’s in Belgium where there is no IN-N-Out or 91 freeway. I’m a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and California Association for Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors. That allows me to provide extra resources and educational opportunities to give you the best care you deserve.

I welcome clients from all cultural backgrounds, family structure, beliefs and ages, and work with most issues. My colleagues and clients call me the “resource Queen.” That means if even one client needs a resource or a new approach, I will find it and we will use it. My commitment is always to provide my clients with the best care and most current resources.

Call our office at (951) 778-0230 to set up an appointment. The office is open seven days a week, and I am available weekdays. I will see you soon.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, let’s make it:

● great

● worthwhile

● count

● awesome

● wonderful

....... it’s up to you!

--

Ilse Aerts, M.S., LMFT # 96211, LPCC # 6135,CCTP, CATP

Practice Of The Podcast: Episode 92

Sherry and Jill were featured on Practice of The Practice Podcast #92!

Listen in on their tips to growing a large and successful group practice that serves the needs of its community.

Listen Here!

For more tips on growing your practice, check out our Therapist in a Box Tool Kit!

Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

EVOLVING AND HAVING HOPE FOR THE NEW YEAR

The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted everyone’s sense of stability, structure, and sense of control. This long-drawn-out time of uncertainty, combined with the social distancing that keeps us away from family, friends, and normal activities, has taken a significant toll on us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. However, there is hope for the New Year, and this blog can help you nurture it.

Hope is always important in our lives, but now it is more critical than ever. Hope can help you fight off depression and anxiety. Hope can motivate you to achieve your goals. Hope can help you be more resilient when we face challenging times. Hope can help you focus on the reality that you need to keep yourself safe by taking the health precautions recommended by the CDC and state and local governments.

Below are some helpful steps to take to reflect on 2020 and have hope in 2021:

1 st Step - Self-Reflect and Review Our Experiences From 2020:

•  Pause and Acknowledge – Speak in truth and acknowledge what our experience was like this past year. Recognize that there have been challenges, difficulties, sadness, and many things that we had no control over. It’s ok. To reflect on these things, and we also need to choose to move forward, as well.

•  Identify the Gifts and Positive Experiences – Acknowledge that there also were some things that we experienced that may have been positive, lessons learned, opportunities given, and personal growth. So it’s important to take some ownership of these things as well instead of focusing only on the negatives.

2 nd Step - Determine What We Want for 2021:

•  Be Intentional – Incorporate what we want to focus on for the New Year. We can evolve and develop a new sense of self and be realistic about what we can change, yet not expect to change everything. Be careful about referring to Resolutions and instead be willing to have Evolutions in the New Year. Select 1- 2 things that were lessons that can apply towards wisdom and growth in this NewYear.

•  Expect and Hope for Good things to come – Love unconditionally, learn self-

  acceptance, improve self-worth and self-esteem, reduce stress, anxiety and

  depression, offer grace to yourself, and recognize life offers us choices, and we

  can decide how we want to live it.

3 rd Step – Evolving In The New Year Questions (Answer the following questions and share them with someone you really trust):

•  Three Lessons I learned in 2020?

•  The gifts of 2020 that I am carrying over into 2021?

•  My thoughts about evolving instead of resolving?

•  A few things I hope to grow through in 2021?

•  My hope for 2021?

Make these a part of your goals for the New Year and celebrate that you made it through last year which was not easy. Believe in yourself and know that you are stronger than you may realize and have much to offer and accomplish in the New Year.

It often takes more courage to have hope than not because you are being asked to look into the unknown and still believe all things are possible. Sometimes it is only hope that feeds our spirits and launches us to find the strength and power to carry on.

If we are hopeful, can bad things still happen in life? Yes, but we must remember good things happen too, and sitting around feeling hopeless doesn’t help anybody.  Feeling hopeful can help you develop a more open mind, which can help you access more possibilities, making it more likely you will find a resolution to your problems or a new way to live with whatever you face in the New Year.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.”   So, let’s try to be more hopeful in 2021 because hope is the beginning of all that’s possible to make the world a better place for everyone.

Wishing all of you a Happy, Hopeful and Healthy New Year!!!!

-Tosha M. Owens, MA, APCC

Nature Therapy

   “In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.” - John Muir

Doctors in Scotland are authorized to prescribe nature to patients to help reduce blood pressure, anxiety, increase happiness, treat post-cancer fatigue, obesity, diabetes, mental illness, and much more!!  For example, a walk in the country reduces, mental illness, and much more!! For example, a walk in the country reduces depression in 71% of participants according to a study from the University of Essex. By spending 90 minutes a day outside, you can decrease activity in the part of your brain that is associated with depression.

In fact, as little as just five minutes strolling in the park or gardening improves self-esteem, mood, and motivation as per the study!

‘Ecotherapy’ also known as ‘green therapy, ‘nature therapy’, or ‘earth-centered therapy’ is an emerging form of treatment to healing emotionally, physically, and psychologically.  It has many benefits such as a boost to our immunity and a reduction in anxiety, ADHD, and aggression. For example, just 30 mins of brisk walking in the sunshine can increase the circulation of natural killer cells, white blood cells, and other immune system warriors.

A Body in Motion Keeps the Mind Active Too! Walking can help bring our attention to the present moment so that we can use all our senses to enjoy the moment. While walking, pay mindful attention to the odor of the wood, or fragrance of the orange blossoms, the sound of the stream, or the chirping of birds. This provides relaxation and reduces stress. Walking outdoors has been recommended because it inspires feelings of awe which gives us a secondary brain boost.  We need this in order to reduce the mental overload caused by our busy lives.

If you decide to take a walk in a green environment, be sure to wear appropriate clothing, take along a water bottle for hydration, and protect your skin by wearing sunscreen. Walking outdoors compared to indoors have many more benefits and serves as a mini-therapy allowing both mind and body to reset.

For those who are too busy to walk, try to squeeze in walking during your lunch hour, listen to a podcast, or walk to the grocery store for example.  Statistically speaking, less than 5% of the people are performing 30 minutes of physical activity per day. However, our bodies were designed to be moving and not follow a sedentary lifestyle.

Lastly, the law defined by Isaac Newton states that a body in motion will stay in motion and a body in rest will stay in rest.  It is, therefore, crucial for us to keep moving our body at least for 30 minutes a day to keep it functioning at optimum. I invite you to think deeply about our connection of the mind-body with nature. 

The three levels of Monitoring Your Children

When it is your time to “watch the kids” it can be exhausting and overwhelming; often keeping you from placing your mind on other things. The real problem is that when it IS your turn… your mind SHOULD be placed ON THE KIDS; rather than your own agenda.

To make this easier, I have a tip that might take the edge off.

Supervision does not take laser-focused intensity: nor does it take exhausting yourself with keeping them entertained. It calls for three levels of monitoring. Each of these levels is necessary; for them AND for you. In order for you to not drive each other “crazy”. Plus the child receives the full benefit of autonomy and parental interaction!

First Level: Monitor from a distance. This allows independent activity for them and the opportunity for you to sit (one of my favorite things, next to crawling in bed). All you do is keep an eye out for trouble in the form of strangers, accidents, and conflicts with peers. This is the time for you to do something like phone calls. Something that can be accomplished without having to take your eyes off your children. This form of supervision encourages creative, independent thought and resiliency.

Second Level: Be a cheerleader. This brings you in (Yes, you have to actually get up and move closer to them.) close enough to laugh with them as they enjoy themselves, encourage them when they are learning a new skill, and intervene if they get in a jam. It also allows you to get to know the other kids that may be around. This is helpful to encourage shy children and build self-esteem.

Third Level: Interactive Parallel-Play (sitting with and doing the same thing, but separately, while monitoring for behavior and safety.) or Cooperative Play (working on the same project, game, or activity together, while monitoring for behavior and safety.). Get in there with them! Climb, pretend, twirl, swing, color, but, most importantly… interact! DO NOT nag, chide, complain, fuss or insult them! Nobody likes having their feelings hurt and nobody likes a fun-sucker! Have fun with them, at their level!

Share in their world of imagination and play. It is a rich, rewarding world that is just as important, and meaningful, as yours! This step encourages bonding and often we transmit our family and personal values to our children as we play.

Play is good for all of us.

My hope is that you take pleasure in monitoring your little ones, learning their ins and outs, and playing with them. They will thrive and grow stronger knowing that you take joy in the time you spend with them!