Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

Insomnia: The Struggle Within

Insomnia is one of the most common disorders in individuals. With all of today’s stress, at least 25 % of adults and children struggle with insomnia.

The most common causes of insomnia include stress, an irregular sleep schedule, poor sleeping habits, mental health disorders like anxiety and depression, physical illnesses and pain, medications, neurological problems, and specific sleep disorders If you struggle with insomnia (a condition that causes trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or both) it can have a profound impact on your quality of life, leading to fatigue, trouble concentrating, mood problems, and even an increased risk of accidents while driving. 

One way to decrease insomnia is to have a regular daily schedule. This allows you to train your mind for sleep.

The next step is to have proper Sleep hygiene. Staying nice, clean and fresh increases our mood decreases stress and causes us to fall asleep easier and stay asleep longer. 

Another suggestion would be to drink tea without caffeine such as chamomile, daily reading before bed help develop a habit of sleep.  Avoiding stimulating activities such as video games, television and screen time an hour before bed.

If you struggle with racing thoughts before bed, you should practice writing down in a daily journal your activities throughout the day, how you feel and express emotions and thoughts through journaling. 

Another suggestion is to have external noise such as a fan or nature sounds to assist you with falling asleep faster and staying asleep longer. 

There also has been suggestions of drinking tart cherry juice before sleep to decrease insomnia. 

The new studies published in the European Journal of Medicine at the end of October shows that tart cherry juice can improve the quality of your sleep, your sleep duration, and help reduce the need for daytime napping.  A discovery was made that adults who drank two 1 ounce servings of tart cherry juice per day experienced a demonstrable increase in sleep efficiency as well as a 39 minute increase in average sleep duration. (WOW!)

So to recap, if you’re struggling with Insomnia, make a daily list of activities, have good hygiene and shower before bedtime, journal any racing thoughts that you have about your day and any stressors and concerns, eliminate all electronics such as video games and television at least an hour before sleep, it’s suggested to drink a warm cup of tea non-caffeinated, turn on some external sound such as a fan or nature sounds to assist with relaxation. The last suggestion is to try tart cherry juice- which is actually pretty good. 

Remember insomnia is normal if it’s not chronic. Everybody faces difficulties in sleeping over the course of their life. However, if this is an ongoing concern and is impairing your daily function due to lack of sleep it is recommended that you seek professional assistance from a healthcare provider such as a medical physician and therapist.

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My name is Lisa Jacobs Clark, I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with CCS. I specialize in children, young adults and women that have or are dealing with depression and anxiety. I have a passion for this population. I entered this field of employment to assist individuals struggling with depression, anxiety and life changing events. Besides assisting individuals in areas that they struggle with, I also am an advocate for children and for families. I truly feel that my purpose is to help the community through therapeutic interventions, mentoring and providing unconditional positive regard to all of my clients. My heart continues to be invested in the work that I provide for the community and CCS. Just as all the other therapists at CCS we are committed to provide and help individuals achieve a better tomorrow.

How To Stop Fighting Your Spouse

One of the first questions I like to ask my client is are you on the same team or on opposing teams?

Do you ever feel like your spouse is not understanding or getting you? 

Have you felt afraid, worried, or on egg shells lately when talking to your spouse? 

Do you find yourself arguing more often about not being understood? 

The best way to figure out what is happening or what went wrong is to use self-reflection and figure out what stressors have been affecting you and your relationship.  At times, we are unaware or lack self-awareness to what is happening in our intimate relationship or even ourselves.  Some may ask what is self-awareness.  I like to explain it as taking a break and asking yourself “how am I doing today or what happened to change my mood?” Many people wear multiple hats and it is hard to check in with self when handling multiple obligations. Some examples: spousal duties, a job, a child, pets, an elderly parent, a sick family member, household responsibilities/chores, errands, finances, family appt.’s, school/sports, daycare, extended family calls, friends, and/or other things that take up our time, you fill in your own blank. 

Not to mention, still dealing with current COVID 19 pandemic, social restrictions, and current fear of unknowns.  Some relationships are equally stressed to being around a spouse longer periods of times since COVID 19/post pandemic outcomes. 

Self-Awareness

I believe the problem we are facing is the lack of self-awareness, not frequently checking in with self, and not asking the right questions:

“how am I doing?” and “what do I need?” 

Whatever your role is in your home, life can be complicated, difficult and it takes time to be in tune with ourselves.  It is difficult to take care of others unless we take charge of our own mental health by checking in with ourselves.  It takes work to eat, sleep, exercise, have fun, make time for self, and being present to enjoy a spouse/family.  It takes work to take a time out and reflect on our own needs. 

I’ve heard this often from either spouse, “I can’t read their mind.”  I agree with this statement, “your spouse does not know how to meet your needs unless you know what they are and you communicate it.”

Your Views

Some may say, “well my spouse doesn’t care or doesn’t understand me.”  That might be true.  However, I like challenging spouses to look at the bigger picture and ask themselves, “how will we get to a place where we can communicate, compromise, and enjoy each other?”  Knowing yourself and being able to communicate needs is a good step in the right direction to helping improve your relationship with your spouse.  Being able to communicate in a respectful manner and valuing each other’s needs promotes intimacy and relationship with your partner.  Our self-mantra can be, “I’m loved, I’m important, I’m able to communicate my needs to build connection with the person I love.” “It can be scary at times, but I can do this.”  Ultimately the goal is to draw closer to our spouse and not moving away from them. 

There are many ways of helping reduce your fights with your spouse, but it is equally important to reflect on what you tell yourself and what is your mindset.  I wish I could say all it takes is taking a magic wand, swirling it over each couple, and fights vanish.  If it were that easy, fights or arguments wouldn’t really exist.  The bigger question is, “what am I able or willing to do to help draw closer to my spouse?”  Another helpful question to ask, “how do I view my spouse?”  “are they valuable, important, can we do life together, and are we on the same team?”  I hope you say we are teammates. 

If your spouse is your teammate, here are some steps/questions to pose to drawing closer to your spouse:

1. What am I telling myself about my spouse? Is it helpful, truth based, and will these thoughts draw me closer to my spouse? Understand this before engaging your spouse. If you’re not in the right head space then come up with more helpful or true thinking statements.

2. Have I checked in with myself today? Have I identified my needs for today (i.e. coffee, breaks, fun activity, rest, sleep, and help with other duties)? Use self-reflection/checking in with self and identify your mood and decide how you want to approach/engage your spouse.

3. If you’re not ready, that is ok like some coaches say, “walk it off.”

4. Set up a team meeting with your spouse. It’s time to communicate. Present your list of things that you need for the day/week and approach your spouse to help you be on the same page (i.e. picking up kids, deciding what’s for dinner, and or requesting a break from your regular day). It’s equally important to stay positive and hopeful rather than negative.

5. It is also important not assuming your spouse doesn’t care or currently knows your needs if not communicated. It takes work, it is better to communicate your needs in a respectful and loving way in hopes of increasing intimacy. Practice makes perfect and the mindset of, “we are a team and we need each other” is a great way of facing difficulty.

6. Lastly, check on your spouse, have you asked what they need, have we worked on helping them feel valued and loved. Have we’ve surprised our spouse lately with the things that they like? Make it a point to make yourself available for them and communicate how valuable they are with affirming words or with a love note.

I think following these steps is a start, but if you are needing some additional help in your relationship please feel free in setting up an appointment for therapeutic services.  I know that every relationship is different and each couple has other traumas and barriers that make this difficult to achieve at times.  I’d be happy to start this journey of self-discovery, identifying ongoing needs, and exploring ways of improving intimacy with your spouse and decreasing the fights.  I hope this information has provided some hope, helpful insight, and ways of improving intimacy with your team mate.  

Best of luck in drawing closer to your spouse. 

Regards,

Erika Hernandez, LPCC

Hi, I look forward to being a part of your journey of self-discovery and healing.

Helping individuals and families is my passion. I have many years of experience providing therapeutic services in Spanish or English. I invite you on this journey of collaborating, identifying your needs, and learning how to meet those needs for better daily living.

I have helped individuals and families in the areas of depression, anxiety, trauma, difficult life transitions, improving pro-social skill, developing healthy relationships/boundaries, assisting with parenting skills, and working on boundary setting, improving self-esteem, and adjusting to family dynamic changes (i.e., divorce, grief, and other family stressor or life changes).

I enjoy working with multicultural individuals and welcome incorporating creative and artistic expression in my scheduled therapeutic sessions as a method of the ongoing development of coping skill use. My therapeutic modality preference is through a creative lens in combination with CBT, Trauma Focused-CBT, Seeking Safety, Motivational Interviewing, and Narrative Therapy.

I count it a privilege to help clients and families with the healing process of self-discovery, freedom of expression, increasing personal interests, sharing their story, identifying their own personal values, current, and future motivations, developing healthy and positive self-talk, increasing hope, incorporating their own personal faith-based values, and developing a reasonable action plan to improve daily and functional living.

Prior to joining the CCS, I provided intensive field-based therapeutic services to children and adolescents with severe mental health challenges and their families at Pacific Clinics.

Please, call me today to set up an appointment, 951-778-0230.

For The Love of Fido: Pets and Your Mental Health

Happy National Walk The Dog Day! Make sure to give the pups a little extra walkies time today. The benefits of owning a dog (or any pet) are well documented. Reduction in high blood pressure, increased immunity, manageable cholesterol levels, and a lowered risk of heart disease are just a few of the physical health benefits that Fido and Fluffy bring to your life.

The mental health bennies are even more profound. Studies suggest that owning a pet can reduce stress, decrease anxiety, help manage depression, and boost your mood. The day-to-day care of a pet can contribute to an increase in physical activity, long recognized as a healthy part of managing both physical and mental health. Doing so also gives you something to wake up and get out of bed for! 

Caring for a pet takes patience, diligence, mindfulness, and persistence. You’ll need to do research to determine how to set up the proper environment, the most nutritious food, and how to support your pet’s health. Doing the work of caring for another can give a sense of purpose and meaning to your life. Hanging out with your pet is a powerful remedy for loneliness, and their unconditional love and appreciation can be warm comfort to an aching heart.

It is said that people who struggle with depression have problems letting go of the past, and those who suffer from anxiety fear the future. Pets are a study in mindfulness, or the practice of remaining in the present. Enjoying bonding time, play time, or hand taming of your pet encourages you to live in the moment, to allow yourself the joy of the day, and to connect with the little being who seeks your love and attention. The practice of mindfulness is a frequent treatment intervention for such mental health struggles as PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder. Plus, playing with your pet is just plain fun! Walking your dog can encourage you to get out in nature and soak up some sunshine, which significantly reduces depressive symptoms. Waving a play wand for your cat gets you moving about, great for easing pain and reducing anxiety. Feeding and maintaining your pet’s physical appearance is satisfying and rewarding, as you can immediately see the benefits of your work in their happy demeanor and shiny coat/fins/scales/feathers.

Let’s not leave out the kids! Owning, working with, or engaging in therapy with animals has been shown to help children with emotional development and regulation. A study conducted with children living with autism showed that having a class pet helped them develop important social skills; increased their ability to relate to their classmates; decreased instances of emotional overwhelm and behavioral outbursts; and significantly reduced their stress levels. Teens who own and care for pets typically struggle less with social anxiety, isolation, and low self-esteem. Grieving children with pets seem to process their grief more readily than children without pets.

Whether they have fur, fins, scales, or wings, having a pet can help you manage your mental health. If you cannot own a pet, consider other ways to get into contact with animals: dog walking/pet sitting, volunteering at an animal shelter or rescue organization, or helping a friend or family member care for their own pet. Do some research to find the best pet for your energy level, interest, and lifestyle. You can learn more about ways of managing your mental health in session with me or any of the wonderful therapists at Central Counseling Services. Call to book an appointment today!

~Alexia

10 Ways Pet Support Mental Health. (2018, June 1). Retrieved from the Newport Academy website: https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/well-being/pets-and-mental-health/ 

“Life knocks us down sometimes, and when that happens, we can all use a hand getting back up.

It’s my honor and privilege to be a helping hand when you are in need. 

I provide gentle guidance, an empathetic ear, and a safe, non-judgmental space to work through issues that make life difficult. I specialize in treating anxiety, depression, and struggles with trauma, especially as related to substance use/abuse (yours or a loved one’s), military service, and family troubles. In therapy, we will explore safe, effective coping mechanisms to help you manage life; examine and refine your self-care; and process those issues that cause you difficulty. Remember that you are the expert of your own life, so we will work together to find solutions that fit you best."

Alexia is also EMDR Trained.

Evolving and Having Hope for the New Year

The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted everyone’s sense of stability, structure, and sense of control, yet again. This long-drawn-out time of uncertainty, combined with the social distancing that keeps us away from family, friends, and normal activities, has taken a significant toll on us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. However, there is hope for the New Year, and this blog can help you nurture it. 

Hope is always important in our lives, but now it is more critical than ever. Hope can help you fight off depression and anxiety. Hope can motivate you to achieve your goals. Hope can help you be more resilient when we face challenging times. Hope can help you focus on the reality that you need to keep yourself safe by taking the health precautions recommended by the CDC and state and local governments.

Below are some helpful steps to take to reflect on 2021 and have hope in 2022:

1st Step - Self-Reflect and Review Our Experiences From 2021:

• Pause and Acknowledge – Speak in truth and acknowledge what our experience was like this past year.  Recognize that there have been challenges, difficulties, sadness, and many things that we had no control over. It’s ok. To reflect on these things, and we also need to choose to move forward, as well.

• Identify the Gifts and Positive Experiences – Acknowledge that there also were some things that we experienced that may have been positive, lessons learned, opportunities given, and personal growth. So it’s important to take some ownership for these things as well instead of focusing only on the negatives.

2nd Step  - Determine What We Want for 2022:

• Be Intentional – Incorporate what we want to focus on for the New Year. We can evolve and develop a new sense of self and be realistic about what we can change, yet not expect to change everything. Be careful about referring to Resolutions and instead be willing to have Evolutions in the New Year.  Select 1-2 things that were lessons that can apply towards wisdom and growth in this New Year.

• Expect and Hope for Good things to come – Love unconditionally, learn self-acceptance, improve self-worth and self-esteem, reduce stress, anxiety and depression, offer grace to yourself, and recognize life offers us choices and we can decide how we want to live it.

3rd Step – Evolving In The New Year Questions (Answer the following questions and share them with someone you really trust):

• Three Lessons I learned in 2021?

• The gifts of 2021 that I am carrying over into 2022?

• My thoughts about evolving instead of resolving?

• A few things I hope to grow through in 2022?

• My hope for 2022?

Make these a part of your goals for the New Year and celebrate that you made it through last year which was not easy. Believe in yourself and know that you are stronger than you may realize and have much to offer and accomplish in the New Year. 

It often takes more courage to have hope than not because you're being asked to look into the unknown and still believe all things are possible. Sometimes it is only hope that feeds our spirits and launches us to find the strength and power to carry on.

If we are hopeful, can bad things still happen in life? Yes, but we must remember good things happen too and sitting around feeling hopeless doesn't help anybody.  Feeling hopeful can help you develop a more open mind, which can help you access more possibilities, making it more likely you will find a resolution to your problems or a new way to live with whatever you face in the New Year.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.”   So, let’s try to be more hopeful in 2022 because hope is the beginning of all that's possible to make the world a better place for everyone. 

Wishing all of you a Happy, Hopeful and Healthy New Year!!!!

~Tosha

I believe we are created for relationship with others and even with ourselves. It is my desire for clients to discover how past and current relationships influence their behavior, thoughts, and feelings in order to bring about long-term change and healing. I greatly enjoy working with children, adolescents, adults, clients with depression, anxiety, trauma, and low self-esteem.

Traditions Are Everywhere, Make Self-Care One Of Yours!

The last few days different traditions have taken place around the world. Here in the US, lots of kids went Trick or Treating on October 31 for Halloween. Other parts of the world celebrated All Saints Day on November 1  (celebrated in honor of all the saints, known and unknown) which is followed on November 1st and 2nd  by Day of the Dead or also called  Día de los Muertos, a more Latin American custom where it is      believed that the souls of the dead return to visit their living family members.

Most of these holidays are related to honoring our deceased. Many of us have experienced significant losses this past year to year and a half due to the COVID 19 pandemic.

As I realized how many of these different traditions occurred over the last week, I became intrigued with how different cultures view death. In America we are familiar with the traditional funeral where family members, friends and relatives gather around the body (often wearing all black) and later there is a ceremony held in a church, synagogue or temple with a rabbi, priest or other officiant leading the service. At other times, instead of a funeral, there is a memorial service, which is much of the same structure as a funeral although the deceased’s body is not present at the service. Because a memorial service occurs after the remains have been cared for, there is often more room for creativity. This is because the family can take more time to plan a ceremony and decide how they want to pay tribute to their loved one. More recently there is a trend of honoring the dead with a celebration of life ceremony which is usually a more relaxed and party-like atmosphere with guests sharing stories about their loved ones.

The celebration of life sounds similar to South American people honoring their dead by holding a ‘vela’ where guests share memories of their loved ones while eating and drinking.

In Africa, most believe in ancestors (the dead who continue living and guiding their family in the afterlife) and they believe that the ancestor will become a wandering ghost if a proper funeral or burial didn’t take place. With lots of different tribes (over 3,000) and countries, there are many different traditions.

The different countries in Asia have their own specific way in viewing death and have their own unique rituals and customs. For example, in China, mirrors are removed, and cloth is hung on the doorway of their homes. Which has some similarities to Russia, where before funeral mirrors are covered and clocks are stopped to avoid more death in the family. That’s similar to the changes made to sit Shiva in the Jewish tradition.

In Western Europe, the traditional mass followed by a grave burial are influenced by beliefs in a higher power that influences funeral traditions.

I am so in awe about so many different ways and traditions to honor our death. What is important in any culture, I think, is taking care of ourselves in those difficult times too. Partially this might be accomplished by having your family and/or friends around you for support. But selfcare also consists in making sure we eat, get sleep, regular medical care and hopefully are able to go outside in the fresh air. Other possibilities for selfcare could be: finding a hobby, watching a funny movie, reading a book, cuddling with a pet, and/or not working during your time off.

Let’s try a self care activity: Pick a window and spend a few minutes looking outside. Notice what’s happening. What shapes, colors, patterns do you see? Do you notice anything new?

Creating the tradition of self-care, not only in the difficult times when someone died, but any time is important.

To discover more about the importance of self-care and/or ideas for self-care, don’t hesitate to reach out to myself or my colleagues at Central Counseling Services. We are here to guide and help you find the right selfcare tradition for you. You can reach us at (951) 778-0230.

Ilse enjoying nature to practice self-care.

I earned my Master degree in Clinical Psychology from Vrije Universiteit Brussel. Yes, that’s in Belgium where there is no IN-N-Out or 91 freeway. I’m a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and California Association for Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors. That allows me to provide extra resources and educational opportunities to give you the best care you deserve.

I welcome clients from all cultural backgrounds, family structure, beliefs and ages, and work with most issues. My colleagues and clients call me the “resource Queen.” That means if even one client needs a resource or a new approach, I will find it and we will use it. My commitment is always to provide my clients with the best care and most current resources.

Call our office at (951) 778-0230 to set up an appointment. The office is open seven days a week, and I am available weekdays. I will see you soon.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, let’s make it:

● great

● worthwhile

● count

● awesome

● wonderful

....... it’s up to you!

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Ilse Aerts, M.S., LMFT # 96211, LPCC # 6135,CCTP, CATP

Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).