Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

Change Your Attachment Style, Change Your Life!

You may be asking yourself “why do I need to know what attachment style I have?” Well, knowing gives you the freedom to do some self-reflecting and get help if your attachment style is less than secure. It is also important in regards to building relationships, both romantic and otherwise. Attachment styles come from how our caregivers raised us. It is what shapes our attachment to others in our adult lives.

Let’s take a look at some attachment styles: 

Avoidant attachment style– this is a positive self-image but a negative view of the world. This can develop when their caregiver is neglectful. Often these individuals do not trust others and they have a difficult time being vulnerable to others. There is a fear of closeness and intimacy.
What can be done to help overcome this? Start taking emotional risks with other people. It will take practice to communicate needs when feeling vulnerable and allowing others to be in that space. The way of thinking that, nobody can ever really be trusted, will need to be confronted and replaced with healthier ways of thinking and in turn acting. Being able to identify people in your life who have shown you true trustworthy behavior and practicing opening up with them is key to unlearning this attachment style. 

Anxious attachment style– this one presents with a negative self-view and a positive world view. This can develop when there is inconsistency from their caregiver. This attachment style will trust others (perhaps a little too much), they often times will look to external views as ways to validate instead of looking within themselves. These people can oftentimes be described as codependent. The thought of being away from their partner gives them anxiety. A strong fear of abandonment is usually present.

A way to help this is to start looking for ways to validate by looking inward. Working on improving self-esteem is a good way to help this as well. Look for things that make you feel important as an individual is helpful. Allow partners to complement your own individual life will work as far as relationships go. 

Disorganized attachment style– this one has both a negative world view and a negative self-view. These people have some big traumas to overcome in order to work on this attachment style. This can develop from extreme trauma in the home. These people do not even know what a healthy relationship would LOOK like. They have a hard time self-regulating. This can even involve physical violence in relationships at times.

It is important to work on both the world view as well as the self-image.

Ambivalent insecure attachment– these people will be very anxious. They have experienced much inconsistency in their childhoods. Trusting others is difficult for them. Two people who share this attachment style are often toxic together and make for a chaotic relationship. It is always a push-pull, love-me hate-me type of love. 

Secure attachment– this is the one we all are searching for and hope for. This is an understanding of healthy relationships. This person is secure and grounded and can expect a healthy relationship. This is someone who trusts others. They thrive in relationships but do just fine on their own. They are more satisfied with their relationships.

Ready to find out what attachment style you are? Take this quiz to find out!
(Non-affiant link)

COURTNEY WHETSTONE, LMFT

I became a therapist because I want to help people who are struggling to change their lives. I work with clients in a caring and compassionate manner, and I tailor the treatment to fit their needs and goals. You are the most important part of your treatment - it needs to relate to your life in a way that works for you. I will challenge you to overcome the challenges you see in your life with support and positive feedback. My approach is working collaboratively toward a happier life for you by helping you make positive changes, including increasing your self-awareness and those barriers that have come between you and your goals.

My specialties include working with children and adolescents, couples, and in crisis intervention. I have experience in many areas, including family reunification counseling, anxiety, depression, and OCD. I also teach our co-parenting class here at CCS on Saturday mornings. Please call and set an appointment with me to help you develop  new tools to overcome emotional hurdles you are facing with strength and confidence.

Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

Need a A Push To Start Therapy?

17 Inspirational Quotes to Motivate YOU to Start Therapy Today

Contemplating therapy? Thinking about picking up the phone is the first step in your journey towards emotional wellness. Sometimes we just need a little something extra to help us become excited and invested in committing to change. We hope one of the following quotes will resonate with you and give you the courage you need to take the next step.

1. There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you--Maya Angelou

2. When we talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary--Fred Rogers

3. If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail--Abraham Maslow

4. My potential is unlimited--Success Mantra

5. You can't change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it--Unknown

6. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate--Carl Jung

7. Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest diseases and it's toll on success and happiness is heavy--Wayne Gretsky

8. All great changes are preceded by chaos--Deepak Chopra

9. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves--Viktor Frankl

10. Nothing will work unless you do--Maya Angelou

11. In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety--Abraham Maslow

12. Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime's work, but it's worth the effort--Fred Rogers

13. The future depends on what you do today--Mahatma Ghandi

14. I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it--Art Williams

15. Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out--Robert Collier

16. The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new--Dan Millman

17. And you? When will you begin the long journey into yourself?--Rumi

We hop we have inspired you to let us walk with you on your path. We want to help you make that first step. Call us today1

Take a swing.

“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from coming up to bat.”

Babe Ruth

April is baseball month to me; it’s the first month that I am able to catch a game at the local ball field. I know that spring training has happen and to many fans that is the start of baseball but to me it’s when the teams are ready to show off at their home field; opening day signals the start of baseball season and anticipation that comes each year. It’s the start of the possibility that is exciting for me. It’s looking down at the future and making the predictions based on the statistics; plus add in a little heart and determination. Some have even said that when teams are otherwise equal it’s their passion, heart and pure determination that will carry the team.  I believe this.

In my work with people, often times they come into my office feeling defeated, sad, depressed, anxiety ridden and they have lost their passion for life or they have become derailed in addiction or making wrong choices that they just get lost.  One of the first things I ask them is “What do you want your life to look like?” “How would your life look if everything was going well?” Sometimes people do not have an answer to these questions. Other times they have a good idea but they fear thinking ahead because they feel they have always been a failure and why bother. Or even worse “I can’t.” Sometimes we have to learn how to pick ourselves up and stop shaming our self. Self-shame can motivate a person into action but I see self-shame mostly being used to validate a person’s feeling of not being worthy. Therefore, I really see no great reason to continuing to using self-shame as our assessment tool. It has proven that it is more damaging to us then helpful.

Let’s instead focus on the action needed to get ourselves moving. I would suggest sitting down once a week and really ask yourself “How is my life going? “What am I doing that is working well.” Go ahead list all the strengths you can find. I will even give you one to start with; wright this down:

Strengths: You are reading this blog and you have thought that maybe I can move my life in a forward direction.

I would agree with your assessment you can move forward. Next I would sit down and write out a prefect day. Your perfect day. Yes, dream how would you like your life to be? Would you be in the job you’re in? The relationship you’re in?   If not, start to take steps to get closer to that goal each day, each week, and each year. Even if you only do one thing a week for a year that is still 52 steps towards your goal. Write it all down. If it doesn’t get on paper your brain can’t start to work on it in helping you push towards those goals. Yes, you deserve to be happy and enjoy your life. Start stringing together your perfect day one after another and before you know it your life will be mostly what you want each and every day. Will it take hard work, yup, but everything in life takes hard work, determination and passion. Put fear on the back burner. I know easier said than done. However, it can be done, yes it can. I see change happening each and every day; I do, I really do. So don’t wait any longer start on that 52 step journey and let me know how it is going along the way.